Codi-Lee: gah, adobe has some retarded stuff
maaaaaaaaartin: lol
Codi-Lee: you would think that you can merge a regular pdf with a fillable pdf because it's both adobe
maaaaaaaaartin: whats retarded is how everything looks similar but works differently
like, just add a page?
Codi-Lee: yeah, you can merge two pdfs together
maaaaaaaaartin: yeah
u can
Codi-Lee: but you can't do it if one is fillable and one is not
friggen adobe
maaaaaaaaartin: i dont think ive ever had a problem with it
how are u trying to do it?
Codi-Lee: "combine files" button
maaaaaaaaartin: no no no
add page
should work
Codi-Lee: also, i found out text is not conserved between ps and acrobat
maaaaaaaaartin: what do u mean?
Codi-Lee: you can do word-> acrobat
and it will recognize text
but acrobat > ps doesn't recognize text
maaaaaaaaartin: ah yes, it'll take the ps doc as an image
Codi-Lee: it becomes an image
maaaaaaaaartin: you can add it in acrobat if u want to do that
Codi-Lee: adobe has some messed up stuff... like dreamweaver right click doesn't have a delete
maaaaaaaaartin: yeah, in the listing
well, thats because it used to be macromedia
and they havent done anything to update it
Codi-Lee: lol
maaaaaaaaartin: we'll just buy this company so we dont have to compete with them
then because its the standard we dont give a shit
cus everyeone will just buy it in a damn bundle because its so much more cost effective
Codi-Lee: LOL
damn, adobe. too smart and too appealing.
maaaaaaaaartin: thats why flash is still so stupid
cus adobe hasnt done shit to update it
but its the standard, so who cares
and they have so many programs that do the god damn same thing
Codi-Lee: that's what i was thinking...
ps and light room?
saaaaame thing
and dreamweaver and contribute
saaaaaaaaame thing
maaaaaaaaartin: lol
ive never used lightroom
Codi-Lee: it's like a baby version of photoshop
maaaaaaaaartin: but yeah, i dont understand why make another program instead of making a new feature
Codi-Lee: but it 's focused on batch editing
i kno!
stupid adobe.
maaaaaaaaartin: i hate how PS, illustrator and indesign look the god damn same
but when you switch between them, u get all fucking confused
Codi-Lee: lol!
maaaaaaaaartin: and they know that you are going to use them together
Codi-Lee: even between ps and ps elements!
maaaaaaaaartin: ps elements is just a budget version of ps, but ive never tried
Codi-Lee: it's like the baby version of ps
so it goes ps > elements > lightroom
in order of user smartness
maaaaaaaaartin: well the stupid ass program is soooo damn expensive
i dont see why they need so much
could all be much more simplified
but noooooo
Codi-Lee: for a long time i was using elements even tho i had ps because i didn't know all the controls of ps
oh! i totally forgot- i bought a roll of violet candy yesterday because i found it when i was looking for violet crunch!
(my last lakerol is gonnnne)
maaaaaaaaartin: lol, it doesnt use the same UI? just with more stuff
Codi-Lee: yes
but the menus are a little different
elements doesn't have image attributes
it ONLY has layer attributes
no wait
layer adjustment
maaaaaaaaartin: meh, most of the features, most people wouldnt use anyways
I use photoshop a lot and I probably dont know half of the shit that goes on in cs2
and now its all cs4 with new wiz bang features
Codi-Lee: yeah!
and for ps, you have image attributes
in elements you only have new layer attribute
so you can't really edit the original photo.
and dreamweaver cs3 has the "spry" elements
but it's not reconized by older versions
and the stupid menus are different
couldn't find "create new page from template" in dw mx 2004
it's in a different wierd menu or something
maaaaaaaaartin: im doing some freelance illustrator work, stupid ass cs3 or cs4 ai files dont work with my cs2 unless it has pdf compatibility checked on. but if you check it on AI crashes because the file has too many elements in it
Codi-Lee: ahahahahahaaaa
maaaaaaaaartin: we'll make this feature, but if u check it on, you might crash the program
so they sent me the examples in jpg or ps, but AI screws up the colors when exporting
so yeah, makes perfect sense
i shoulda asked them to send me pdf version too
bah, oh well


that i've seen more than 20 times.
it's the cowboy bebop movie.
one xmas break, my friend lent it to me.
she got the japanese version with eng subtitles on vhs
(at the time only the english dub was available to us so this was huge news!)
and i watched it every day of xmas break until i had to return it to her.
i saw it over 20 times.
i even had parts of it memorized, i think.
i want to watch it again now- i haven't seen it in a while.


I won't say anything that's worth a thing to me

One day, suddenly, time 

took a turn that once felt so brief

I blinked to see polite ghosts fading quickly

What begins as an unguarded

train of thoughts slowly can become

an addiction to the slumber

of disconnection and the resonance

of memory that no longer has a shape

but keeps you numb through

the hours till gone is another day

Be aware , my darling

these things I say I mean 

are just traces of something

I long to feel again

I see our time expand

in the air almost forcibly,

spreading thinner tull it dissolves completely...


Then fucking be mad at me.
Mom is angry.
Not with me but with someone else.
But her duty spreads everywhere
And she is now angry at everyone.
Now I'm in a bad mood and I just want to say
Don't be mad at me unless you have a reason!
I'm just as pissed off as you are!
Jesus Christ bananas!

I just want to get out of the house for awhile to let things cool off.
But I don't know of that's going to happen.


And don't know if I'll stick to it but it can't hurt to dream!

1. Spring 2010- grad with AS degree in MLT
2. Work for a little while at a lab
3. Go back to UH and grad with BS in MT
4. Get masters in genetics

I don't know.
Just thinking.


Where there was family dinner and Nate got high (accidentally) on XTC?
Yeahhhh... I didn't realize that we have Mucinex DM and Mucinex DM
Maximum Strength...
So I took two max strength instead of two DM...
And max is a double dosage of DM...
Plus I took a rynatann...

Needless to say, my Xmas eve family party was extra exciting.

Happy holidays.


i'm a skeptic on shaken baby syndrome (SBS) too.
can shaking alone cause subdural hematomas?
listen to this:
"Blake tracks SBS cases for both and 2nd Chair Services.  She has followed 169 shaken baby cases in which medical records were available and which occurred between 1997 and 2007.  Forty-one percent of the babies survived, she reports.  (Her study is unpublished.)  Thirty-one cases she followed resulted in a confession incolcing 'some form of shaking or shaking with impact,' she says.  But such confessions, often used as the silver bullet to defeat SBS skeptics, became less conclusive upon further scrutiny.  Thirteen of the confessions were admissions that the 'abuser' had merely shaken the infant as a way to attempt to revive it.  Another 14 admitted to 'abuse' in a more general sens, which could have involved striking the child or hitting it against a wall or floor.  Just three people in Blake's data set admitted to abuse by shaking- and shaking only.  And at least one of those three infants, she says, already had a subdural hematoma, before the shaking incident."
- DISCOVER magazine, December 2008, pg. 68


s. rota called care center.
she won't listen to my advice when i tell her over the phone how to fix her computer.
she just wants someone to go to her office and help her now.
and she always calls and yells at me when something else is wrong with her computer.
even if it's not my fault.
i want to X her out.


things i am going to buy myself (after) christmas:
stella by stella mcartney roll on eau de parfum tube
JPG magazine subscription
that's it.
yeah, every day is "cyber monday" for me.
so i have no particular wants for a particular day.
thank goodness for my campus job.
i'm a shopaholic.


the funeral.
was so sad.
it was like,
a funeral for my own grandpa.
it seemed like, i was the saddest one there.
maybe they didn't remember.
but he really was like my real grandpa.
but fun is fun and done is done.
back to the ssdd routine.
had my final today for micr.
was tough!
but i think i did ok.
it wasn't a complete multiple guess- i knew what i was talking about, sometimes.
tomorrow, one more test and i'm done!
i'm not going to our work xmas party.
i am anti social.
and that is the truth.
today mary gave me a piece of sandal wood.
it smells so good.
like something traditional i remember.
or like something someone old had.
i like it.
i can't stop smelling it.
and i like the feeling of the wood.
like it's dusty on the outside.
a tout a l'heure.


i must write before i forget!
i had a dream.
that HS wasn't dead.
layne took me home.  but we went to clio street instead of boyd lane.
and i said oh, this is the wrong place.
but as i was leaving HS came out and said hi.
he was holding the news paper (as usual).
and his death was the headlines!  everywhere!
but he said it was a ploy, so he could give all of his assets to popo chang.
and when i was satisfied with this news, i left.
there was more but that's the important part.
i talked to him.
he told me he wasn't dead.


finally, i see that i'm the same old me.
yes, it's been awhile but i'm back to my normal procrastinating self.
yesterday was the last day of school,
today is the first day of finals week
and i am finally feeling like procratinating!
i feel like not doing ANY work at all.
i have a final project to do
and a two finals to study for
and an online final that i can start on already
but i have no intentions of starting any today!
yesterday i tried so hard to work on my sleep project.
i couldn't get my self to do more than copy and paste my raw data and then calc the averages and stdev.
(although i did work on some in school).
i'm normally such a slacker.
but this whole semester i've been such a good kid... turning everything in on time and not waiting last minute.
i don't even feel like doing work at work!
maybe i'll work on my web site for a while.
i'll get to the real stuff soon enough.


here are ten of my favorite albums.
maybe not all of my favorite songs are in these albums but each one is good as a composite.
i also tried not to repeat bands.
in no particular order:

1. hot fuss -- the killers
2. alright, still -- lily allen
3. funeral -- arcade fire
4. lust lust lust -- the raveonettes
5. you can have it so much better -- franz ferdinand
6. fool on the planet -- the pillows
7. knights of cydonia -- muse
8. fever to tell -- yeah yeah yeahs
9. love. angel. music. baby -- gwen stefani
10. finally woken -- jem


i've been doing my research.
it looks like the panasonic lumix l1 is nearly identical to the leica digilux 3.
they even take the same leica lens!
i've been looking into dslr ever since the impending doom of losing darkroom time approaches.
i was lucky to snag one more semester.
but every semester could be my last.
and then what?
i like the panasonic/leica because of the layout- very simillar to traditional film photography.
stupid canon and nikon dslr has unnavigable menus and too many buttons.
i first looked up the leica because i figured it would be more traditional and a nice transition between film and digital.
then i stumbled into the panasonic lumix l1.
right now it's on amazon for 660 dollars.
including the sexy leica d lens.
the leica digilux 3 + lens is 3000 dollars.
am i a brand whore enough to get the leica?
they say that the jpg mode mods the picture a little so it has a film quality.
but the panasonic has the "film selector" mode.
i don't know... could i bare to walk down the street with a panasonic around my neck?
to use a panasonic would be to disgrace my canon devotion.
using a leica doesn't affect this- it fits into my "founding forefathers" niche.  
leica is a photo pioneer and great maker.
sounds cheap.
the other problem is digilux 3 is the top of the line leica.
lumix l1 is currently outdated- replaced by a more typical dslr: the l10.
does this mean that the l1 styling/layout is going to be phased out?
if i wait for it to get even cheaper, will it disappear?
if i jump the gun and get it now, will they upgrade beyond 7.5 megapixels?
7.5 is enough to make 16 x 20 prints.
same question to the leicas- would they upgrade?
look at the differences (read: MAJOR UPGRADES) between digilux 1, 2, and 3!
i want to have a leica so badly.
but the price is not right.
really, i feel like panasonic is blasphemy.
but still...
i don't know.
i think i want it.
but not yet.
but waiting might have consequences.
i'll sleep on it.

i think i'm having camera withdrawls.
i've been slaving in the darkroom but i haven't had a camera in my hands in a while.
(LOL. now that i think about it, the last time i took a picture was last friday, guh.  i'm officially a goner.)

bonne santée.


Hing Sing Chang died on December 1st. 
He was like a grandpa to me.
I'll miss his vegas escapades and his nosy neighbor personality.
he liked to fix things and paint things (our old house was practically held together by paint- as was the driveway).
He never forgot my birthday, or my sister's- they had the same birthdate.
he was the unofficial neighborhood watch and news hub.
he had three white cars- each one he traded in was slightly rounder than the last.
he like swap meet bargains and used to swim at alamoana.
he was a cook in the army.
he knew my real grandfather for a short while.
he was slightly hard of hearing and had a few gold teeth.
and all of this added to his delightful charm.
i remember his plastic aligator in his car.
his never ending supply of firecrackers on new year's eve.
and his nicely manicured lawn.
he liked to watch wrestling (WWE SMACKDOWN!)
and i heard he used to frequent the roller rink.
and he has a lovely wife and lovlier grandkids.
and he was such a good friend to my family.
one of the true old timers of clio street.


toast with your coffee?


last week i came home and my wall shelf had randomly fell off the brackets.  i had a bunch of junk on display there, one of which was my framed national forensics league member certificate (i'm in the NFL, heh) and my speech and debate trophy.  when the shelf fell, the trophy apparently landed on the frame and the glass broke.  i cleaned everything up but i  cut my foot on a shard of glass.  not a big deal- just doused it with alcohol and then added a bandaid.  fast forward to today, the cut i had (and it's really tiny) is pretty much healed but the area is a little red and sore when i poke it!  i feared there might be remnants of glass in it so i went in with a needle, tweezers, light and magnifying glass.  to my amazement, a REALLY LONG shard came out of it.  so it's doused with alcohol and bandaged up again.  crazy!  the cut was really so small, i couldn't believe such a big piece of glass was in there!  all is well, now.  i put the shelf's contents into a box and it's in my closet in storage, now.  this is the second time the speech and debate stuff has caused me woe- on the oct 15 earthquake we had a few years ago, the thing fell off the shelf and i got hit on the head with my own trophy!  it was then moved to a different shelf but it was obviously still causing me stress!  i put it away into the dark closet for good.  but come to think of it, it's located on a high shelf in my closet so if i accidentally bumped the box underneath it... 


1)Are you really ready for 100 questions?

2) Was your last relationship a mistake?
gahhhh!  only on number two and already starting with the deep intellectual questions!

3) Do you believe in God?
which one?

4) Who did you last say "I love you" to?

5) Do you regret it?

6) Have you ever been depressed?
maybe.  or something close to it.

7) Do you have a best friend?
"someone who considers me their best friend back? I guess not. I have really good friends, though." 

8) Are you a boy or girl?
une fille 

9) What is your relationship status?
<3  n_______n

10) How do you want to die?
i'm hoping for an aneurysm before 40.

11) What did you last eat?
minty chewing gum.

12) When was your last non-physical fight?
don't know.

13) Do you have an attitude?
i can have an attitude.

14) Ever been in love?
don't know.

15) What is your real name?
my real middle name is xiu ying.

16) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
i have a list.

17) Do you miss someone?
"sometimes i wonder where you are..."

18) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?

19) Do you tan a lot?
an average amount.

20) Have any pets?
i used to have this pet spider... 

21) How exactly are you feeling?

22) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?

23) Ever made out in the bathroom?
that's dirty.

24) Would you take any of your exes back?

25) Are you scared of spiders?
i like spiders- they eat other bugs so i try not to kill them.

26) Would you go back in time if you could.
i want to watch history being made!  i want to live in the old times!

27) Do you regret anything in your past?
ho so much!  but i try not to think about it.  my newest mantra- existentialism.

28) What are your plans for this weekend?
rhs band concert @ ward warehouse @ 6:30 .  be there or be square!

29) Do you want to have kids?
not really.  i'm too self centered.  kids are tiring and i really don't know how to handle them.  maybe if i could have a kid for like... a week.

30) Ever kissed somebody that name starts with an M?
last name..

31) Do you type fast?
typing speed is directly proportional to caffeine intake and workflow.

32) Do you have piercings?
0g 4g 8g per ear.

33) Want any more?
i'd like to!  but i'm running out of space.

34) Can you spell well?

35) Do you miss anyone from your past?
i have a list.

36) What are you craving right now?
i really really want to listerine my mouth.

37) Ever been to a bonfire party?

38) Have you ever been on a horse?
a fake one.

39) Kissed someone in a truck?

40) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
maybe a few.  

41) Have you ever been cheated on?
most likely.

42) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
oh, i could. : )

43) Would you live with someone without marrying them?

44) What should you be doing?
work work work sleep work

45) What's irritating you right now?
computer fan is humming and virus scan is taking sooooo long.

46) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
maybe in high school?  

47) Does somebody love you besides family?
probably not.  but i believe in infatuation and obsession.

48) What is your favorite color?
my LEAST favorite color is brown.  brown can't decide what color it wants to be.

49) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?

50) Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?

51) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
it's abnormal.

52) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?

53) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
that time when i was working on nelda's website and all the html files plus my css style sheet was gone... i was so frazzled i was going to start crying at my desk but i didn't.  i managed to make it home in one piece and punched the wall in my closet instead.  two days later i redid the whole site and all is well.

54) Do you give out second chances too easily?

55) Is it easier to forgive or forget?

56) Is this year the best year of your life?
so far, i guess.  but nothing much to compare to.

57) What was your child hood nickname?
still the same! 

58) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
there was this one time when i was at a beach house and my friend was like "hey we should go skinny dipping..."

59) Do you think you' re a good person?
now, do you mean good as in moral?  i think i'm a good person. 

60) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
no free will.  we are bound by the laws of physics.

61) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
start the virus scan (and it's stilllllll going.)

62) Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? Who?
some old friends and some dead people.

63) What is bothering you?
isn't this kind of the same as question 45?

64) Have you ever been out of state province?
i had to look up "province" in the dictionary.  :\

65) Are you listening to music right now?
no because my FKN external hard drive is at work plugged into my computer, damn it!

66) Do you like Chinese food?
the good kind.

67) Do you know your fathers b-day?

68) Are you afraid of the dark?
no, it's better for my eyes.

69) Is cheating ever okay?

70) Are you mean?
sometimes.  and sometimes when i don't mean to be mean. :C

71) Can you keep white shoes clean?
i try really hard.

72) Have you noticed this survey stopped getting personal?
yes, thank goodness.

73) Do you believe in true love?
don't know.  but i believe in obsession and infatuation.

74) Do you like the outside?
only in nice warm weather.  i think i would die if it snowed.

75) Are you currently bored?
why else would I be doing this?

76) Do you wanna get married?
just the formality of it.  i'm not into weddings.

77) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

78) Are you hungry?
not really.  i had leftover corned beef earlier.

79) Do you have a bank account?
yes.  it makes me sad.

80) What makes you happy?
i often oscillate between being alone and being with good friends.  sometimes i forget how lonely my life is and other times i can't stand to be around anyone.  i guess the only thing you can rely on these days is a cup of strong black coffee. : )

81) Would you change your name?

82) Ever been to Alaska?

83) Do you watch the news?

84) What' s your zodiac sign?
starts with an S and it's not scorpio.

85) Do you like Subway?

86) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

87) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

88) Do you like your friends?
see question 80.

89) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?

90) Who is the last guy you talked to?
irl?  dad.

91) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
i really like the smell of cigarettes although i don't smoke.

92) What's going on between you and your best friend?

93) Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?
mr. e

94) Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
not really.

95) Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos?
i enjoy pain more when i'm feeling really stressed out.  that's how i got my big ear holes.

96) What do you wear more: jeans, sweats, or shorts?
jeans out or tiny shorts at home.  i want more options- like panty hose + skirt.

97) You're a Sharpie marker, what color are you?
Black...? They're usually black. This question is stupid. It's like "What color Coke can would you be?"

98) Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning?
night. always at night.  morning shower is like shell shock.  unless it's before getting into the pool.

99) Have you ever said you'd never love again?
I'll say it now. I'LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN!

100) Do you want to please everyone?
sometimes i try and other times... meh.


the other day when i was playing team fortress i jumped on a team of pretty experienced players.  i was kind of intimidated because they really good and kept yelling "WTF!" at me.  but i am really greatful they didn't kick me off the server and were also yelling out tips (i was playing medic... for the second time ever. :\  i usually like scout.) like "don't stop healing!" or "sentry gun on left tower!" or "stay out of fire but try to stick with [iron]".  i felt really bad and just wanted to give a shout.  (i don't have a headset either and i have no idea if they were watching my text comments) and it's even more unlikely they'd stumble upon my  blog but still, can't hurt to try.  that was the first time i played with WELL ORGANIZED people and they were not destroying me for doing something stupid.  was i irritating?  probably.  but how else will you improve if you don't work on it!  the server was something "TEXANS" and bah, can't remember the names of the people on my team... there was "chillin"something and [iron]something and several more people i can't remember but if i ever run into them again, they have something coming back to them in a good way.  :)


at photo lab today i printed two really nice nighttime street photos on 11 x 14 rc paper.  the 11 x 14 is really impressive looking, if i may say so myself.  it's a nice change of pace and you really get a lot of nice details on the enlargement.  i love it.  i want to do more 11 x 14 next semester.  also tried another large print.  it looks okay but i would like to try to print a better one.  i used three sheets (out of 10) on this print but i don't have much more to do before the final critique.  i suppose i can print some others or maybe i'll have one last go at it.  
i heard kozue, who was in my 207 class last semester won second place for her portrait for a contest in the honolulu magazine!  i'm really happy for her; her work is so beautiful!  if it's the photo i think it is (self portrait with a skeleton) then i am sure she's won the hearts of many!  it's a breathtaking photo with perfect shadows and lighting and composition.  

i can't believe semester is almost over.
i'm starting to get the sniffles, i just need to hang on for two more weeks then i can get sick (although i'd like to not get sick at all).  i think if i get sick now, i'd die trying to recuperate, go to work, and finish projects!  i'm a bit worried about microbiology final exam!  so much to remember!  i also have a final paper for phyl and rel due soon.  i'm trying not to procrastinate but i've been so addicted to team fortress!  every night i power down a oatmeal cereal squares and a yogurt while playing team fortress.  then i read my twitters and check my email.  then i fall asleeeeeeeeeep!  so from now on, no procrastinating!  

i'm going to go do some microbiology study questions right now!




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