about this just so it's out and I can ponder it later.
Lately I've been unusually sick.
My cold is wearing down, I'm barely coughing, and I just have a slight
scratchy voice in the mornings from a post nasal drip at night. So I'm
getting better on that front.
But lately I've been nauseated. And tired. It happened all of a
sudden. On Saturday I went to volunteer as usual but in the middle of
making charts I was starting to get light headed.
No wait, it started before that. The night before that I woke up and
tossed a little with stomach cramps. But I was fine in the morning
and passed it off as a dream.
So back to the surgicenter, I was pushing my papers and the light was
so white and bright and the words on the papers were dizzying, I swear
I was going to pass out. Instead I went to the bathroom and vomited.
Since my days of sleepless nights and AP exams I was used to nausea
and functioning at school on pure adrenaline and an empty stomach so I
acted casually and managed to scrape through my remaining three hours
at the sc.
The remainder of the day I was still nauseated but convinced it was a
24hr bug or food poisoning or maybe fatigue (although the latter two
were dim possibilities in my mind- I hadn't eaten much the night
before and I have not had any hard labor or stress in several weeks).
The next day, nausea again. And bad headaches. Not as bad headaches
as voggy day headaches, but still there. And not nauseous to the point
of throwing up or passing out but still there. Enough to keep me at
home and lethargic. What a waste of winter vacation.
And again today.
The morning was alright. I was a little woosey but I thought it was
from lack of sleep- I was up until 1am reading a book. Later in the
day- around 3pm I felt like I was swimming. I just wanted to go home
and lie down.
Now I have no idea what this could be. A virus? Perhaps. It's not
lack of food as I originally thought (in fact I wonder if it is over
eating- I don't usually finish my sandwich lunch in it's entirety).
Maybe too much licorice? I heard of a lady who went into a coma from
too much licorice. I do eat a lot of those lakerol pastilles
everyday... But I don't think I ate thaaaat much. And I didn't eat any
on sunday. I stopped taking my allergy drugs since I stopped coughing
so I don't think that's it either. So i am officially out of ideas.
I'm going to hope that this will just phase out and I can make myself
feel better by sucking licorice pastilles and convincing myself that
sickness is all in my mind. It seems to have worked before.
I just hope it's over soon (I hate feeling like I'm going to faint
everytime I stand up) because it's messing with my metabolism (if you
know what I mean... I can't really talk about it here) and just
making me feel crummy.
Mayhaps it's punishment for not drowning in my dream. Or a
psychsomatic terror (I'll tell you about that next time).
Mind over matter.
Mind over matter.
Mind over matter...